Meet Miss Fortune
You’ve scrolled through enough pastel affirmations.
You’ve heard the universe say you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
And yet — here you are.
Welcome to Miss Fortune Cookies: your daily invitation to divine dysfunction, cosmic critique, and carefully curated despair.
She's not here to comfort you — she’s here to narrate your chaos with style.
Miss Fortune sees through your rising sign, roasts your Venus placements, and won’t hesitate to tell you that your “journey” is actually just another loop on the carousel of bad decisions.
She’s part mystic, part menace, and always dressed for vengeance.
Horoscope
Your daily dose of celestial judgement - because your start didn't come to comfort, they came to roast.
Tarot
Full digital spreads steeped in shadow, symbolism, and sarcasm - because sometimes the cards read you.
Cookies
Bite-sized prophecies wrapped in spire and sprinkled with sass, cracked open to reveal your daily dose of delusion.
Dad Jokes
Dry, dreadful, and punfully uncalled for - a perfectly awkward palate cleanser between your spiritual crises.
Download the app
You’ve tried mindfulness. Now try surrendering to something far more fabulous and far less forgiving.
Miss Fortune Cookies is not just an app. It’s a daily séance. A snarky mirror. A beautifully dressed meltdown with a sense of humor.
Horoscope
Your daily, weekly, and monthly astrological insights — crafted in gothic prose, designed to haunt and inspire.
Spoiler alert: Mercury is always judging you.
Tarot Cards
Drawn from the inky depths of the digital abyss, these are full tarot readings.
Gorgeous, dramatic, and just accurate enough to make you uncomfortable.
Interpretations steeped in symbolism, sarcasm and that voice in your head you thought you'd silenced.
(Miss)fortune Cookies
Not edible. Not kind. Each cookie is a digital card with sharply-worded one-liner disguised as a fortune.
Think of them as a cosmic shade in bite-sized form.
Dad Jokes
Cleansing the palate with something pun-laced and entirely inappropriate for dinner parties.
Just when you think it can't get worse, here comes a dad joke. Buckle up.
Summon Miss Fortune (if you dare)
Questions? Feedback? A message for the stars?
Send a note - Miss Fortune is listening (probably).